Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Riding the bus in Roma

I don't know why I didn't say something, either while it was happening or after it happened. I've never been told what to do in that situation; it's always hypothetical. In circumstances of sexual harrassment, it become a question, "Why did she kick/scream/punch/yell?" It becomes a statement that, "Yes, she was wrong, but she could've done more." We say these things from a position of education middle-class safety in a classroom, but no one ever told me what to do on a city bus in Rome when a middle aged man pressed his crotch repeatedly against my leg. I wanted to yell, to tell my professor, but I was worried I was imagining it. Even though when the bus came to a stop the rhythmic pushing did not cease and I swear I could feel his erect penis through his pants. He got off the bus a stop early even tohugh it was an express bus to the train station and the stops were intended for entrance rather than exit. Still, I felt such an accusationw ould sound vain, that a man on the bus could become erect because of me. So I didn't say anything. I got off the bus, walked into the train station and gor on the train. I hadn't been taught what to do afterwards either. I tried not to think about it. I tried to make it sound lesser: it was just a man on the bus for ten minutes, it might all have been imagined and I was fine.

3 comments:

Tasha said...

I need to learn how. Maybe I should take self-defense classes. I've never really had the urge to beat anyone up, which works against me in situations like this.

Anonymous said...

Tasha,

I stumbled across your blog via facebook. I'm really sorry about your awful bus experience in Rome. I wonder if it's something about the men there--I was asked if I would accept 1000 euros for a blow job (except not quite so polite.) Aside from how disturbing and wrong that is, since when am I worth 1000 euro? I know how you feel--aside from being disgusted, it's weird to think that someone like that is attracted to you.

Seriously, though, I don't know what you could have done. Not everyone can scream and kick, and it's not your fault. It doesn't help that the cultural attitudes towards what constitutes sexual assault are different everywhere.

Tasha said...

It's the culture of Italy. Also, I appreciate the support, boys keep saying things like "Why didn't you say something?" It's not that easy though.