Saturday, August 22, 2009

I've been thinking about fate a lot lately, mostly because it keeps coming up. Maybe it's fate that fate makes a reoccurring appearance in my life. I've never really believed in fate. I'm a strong believer in free will and the human ability to make mistakes and the knowledge that not all mistakes are meant to happen. But this spring a lot of bad things happened. Bad things happened to the point where I couldn't take it anymore and just shut down emotionally. Then this summer things turned around completely. There are times that I've been upset, but I've only been upset because I'm emotionally awake and I am not one to do things subtly. When I do feel things, I really feel them. I can't help but think that if the spring had turned out differently, this summer wouldn't have been the way it was and I really liked the way it was. It made me change in ways that were necessary.

Last weekend I saw a movie. I really liked it. I said it was perfect. But it wasn't perfect. There were things I didn't like about it, things I disagreed with, but it was perfect, because at the time I felt so good about the movie. But if I had seen it at a different time with a different person, I probably wouldn't have liked it much.

This goes back to a prior post I wrote about the flow. What is the flow exactly? Is it fate? To go with the flow, a person has to let go of any preconceived notions of the future and just let things happen and trust that it will be okay. If I trust that does that mean that I believe in fate?

Here it gets really complicated because if I believe in fate, I would have to think about where fate comes from and I don't have the time to write/think/talk about it now.

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