I tried to pick up my tabs today for my car. The car is under my mom's name. They informed me that I need to get her to fill out a form giving me permission to pick up the tabs. I haven't seen my mom since June. I then called my mom in the DMV, which is probably not entirely logical, but I knew if I didn't do it then I would never do it, thus why I am trying to pick up tabs 12 days before they expire. She was happy to hear from me. I asked her why she hadn't called. She said she thought I was mad. I am. I asked her out to dinner because I knew she would never sign the form for me to get my tabs otherwise. She would rather have me pay loads of fines. She said yes, but wants to take the food back to her duplex in the hood (my words). I said that made me uncomfortable. She wanted to know why. I told her I didn't want to talk about it. She asked if it was because I was afraid she would be upset. I said I was afraid I would be upset. She said it upsets her that I don't want to talk about it. I said talking about it upsets me. She told me I have to come over to her duplex. I said I did not have to. She told me I had to for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I said nothing. She asked if I wanted to see Kirby, my cat since I was 12 that is living with her ex-boyfriend. I said, you have Kirby? She said that she will if I go over there. I promptly started crying in the DMV because my mother is trying to manipulate me with my cat. We made arrangements to meet for dinner. I walked outside and instantly felt like no one cares about me because that is a logical reaction. Every time I get really upset I feel utterly alone though I am not. This is the worst. Probably no one is still reading. I want to get drunk before dinner but I have to drive. I want to drink now. I want my roommate to be home. I should not post these things. Fuck.