Sunday, June 26, 2011

I am pretty sure Katie and I were the same teenager. 
She keeps posting all these nostalgic things and pondering stuff that I often ponder. Why the fuck didn't I like myself? I was thin (due to under-eating), had more friends than I did now, boys actually wanted to be my boyfriend, when I wanted to I got good grades in classes, but I never really tried. I was just sad and slept a lot and felt like I was going to be lonely forever. I remember being 130 pounds (I am 5'9", so 130 is very thin) and thinking I would never let myself be that heavy again and I am definitely over 130 now and I still am okay with myself and can function in the world. Sometimes though I understand. Sometimes I still feel the same way, but mostly it's better. I don't want to make this a writer thing, because it's not, it's much larger than that, but most writers I've talked to (or rather, people my age who write), went through a similar phase, considered similar things. I am being vague because the things I thought about then seem ridiculous now. 

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