In class I am lacking. I read stories and love them, but can't articulate why. I become confused when I search for explanations of motive. I say, "Why does she do things that support the patriarchy," when most things I do support the patriarchy and I do them without question. Then I wonder, "Why is this story surreal and why is it when you come to the end you find out that none of it actually happened and it was all made up in her head," when I am fairly certain that I have made up most of my life in my head. Language is gone. All of them. German, English, I can't even read people anymore. I want to go through every story, line by line, like it will help me understand.
I realized it didn't help me to disappear for a bit. I started to miss people I didn't realize I would miss.
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