I didn't get into Minnesota. I have to leave again. When I cry while I'm swimming I swim much faster, but water gets in my goggles. It's not even that I like Minnesota so much, the school or the state. It's that leaving is scary. I'm scared of so many things, all the time. My lists of anxieties are inexhaustible and yet I continuously force myself into situations that make me nervous. At least people will speak English. They will in fact, be remarkably good at speaking English as it will be an MFA program. My poor dad pick me up approximately two minutes after I found out and had to deal with me crying in the car about how I just wanted to stay here where everything is going well for me. I had consolatory pizza for dinner with my dad after swimming, although to him it was just pizza. We bought plane tickets so I can visit Alabama. It will be okay.