She'll make him smile for the simple fact that he needs it

I was reading Julie's blog this morning. I am now going to quote Julie's blog. I'm sorry Julie. If you wanted me to unquote your blog and vaguely reference it I can do that too.

"This year is Life Boot Camp for me, I think. All of my negative and inactive habits and tendencies will be beaten out of me, and I will be a responsive, active performer and person. All my classes are boot camp. My personal life is boot camp too. The only thing that truly upsets me about all of this is that there's no room in it for cynicism. And I like my cynicism. But, these things happen."

Julie was able to say, more eloquently than I, what is going on in my life. It's hard for me to say things like, "I feel like I'm changing," even though that's in my head, because it's too cheesy, too insincere. But it's more like, I have to change. I sat down this weekend and asked myself what I did before (you know, the things I did before that weren't detrimental and self-deprecating). One of the things I used to do on a regular basis was walk down the Barnes and Nobles (this was in ninth and tenth grade, before I had a car), and read the stupidest, most vapid books I could find, until I didn't think anymore. That's what I did this weekend, besides writing my politics of art midterm. I am now on my fourth book of the last four days. These books are starting to anger me though. Do people really think that way? I mean it would be nice. They think about shoes and boys, and when they are sad they eat a carton of ice cream. I do this too. I think about shoes and boys, and when I am sad I either eat a carton of ice cream or nothing. But in between all of that, there is something raw and painful that a carton of ice cream doesn't actually help. I thought most people felt this way. You know, confused, hurt, sometimes extremely happy or extremely sad for no reason. But there are all these books, bestselling books, where life is more black and white than a picture book.

Side note: A really good children's book is "Sad Book," by Michael Rosen. Julia had it last year when she was evaluating children's books. I think everyone should read it to their children. Okay, I think everyone should read it. It has the same illustrator as Roald Dahl's childrens books, which I also think everyone should read.