"It’s commonly accepted by neurologists that once you fuck someone, a chemical stays in your brain for about 2-3 years which makes you think they are more beautiful than they are."

What? Really? Why didn't anyone tell me? Clearly I should never have sex again. This is probably why I find so few people attractive right now, because I have not had sex since ----- (you don't need to know).

I am reading this article right now and I find the writer utterly attractive. What is wrong with me?