I do like myself. I do like the people around me. I do appreciate them and I know I've been negative and self-deprecating lately, but it's not because of these things. I'm just tired of feeling like shit because of boys. I know it's dumb, I know I just shouldn't get involved in these things or feel like I do about these things. When I say I'm not that pretty, I don't mean I think that I'm ugly, I just mean that I don't think I'm pretty in the manner that boys find attractive or that boys want to use. I just want someone to stick around. I don't do things lightly. I decided to be a writer when I was eight years old and I'm still doing it. I was a German minor and now I'm going to Austria. When I like someone, I like them. I think about it first, but then I put my faith into a person and I'm tired of that being broken. I don't want to be an angry person. I just want to like people. I want to like myself. But I keep questioning both of those things. I hate that I'm this girl that gets pursued and then gets left and I wonder what that makes me, if that makes me anything.