In blatent constrast to my last post, I would like to say that my version of reality, though often pessimistic, is rarely disillusioned. I see the benefits of this sometimes. It enables me to be social or not social, depending on the situation. I do not fit in everywhere. Lots of times I am very shy, but I can pass. I feel like it is passing. I can pass for a human being who lives here and does normal things and will have a better chance of success then a lot of being because I'm middle class, white, smart, and I'm not unattractive.

A lot of people live somewhere completely differently. When you live somewhere else it's hard to function in the world, but you don't know you're not functioning because you live somewhere else. Except that's not true, lots of people know they aren't functioning.