Why do I come off as naive?
I have always come off as naive. Regardless of what I've done. People who know me really well, always laugh when I say that, but people who've just met me tend to find me naive. Like I've never done anything I'm not supposed to in my life before. Which, certainly, I am not the worst person I could be. I base my moral standards off of completely abstract ideals that I invented myself, but they still exist. There are still things I do and will not do, but I try not to make them based off of a religion or capitalism.
For awhile I thought it was because I havwe big eyes. I have big eyes, I know I do, and they open when I find something interesting or confusing or cute or attractive. I use them to express things.
Do I have a little voice? I might have big eyes and a little voice, though my voice is loud when I'm not shy.
Why am I shy? I'm shy because I'm scared I don't match up to standards I should, but those standards are things I hate. I don't match up to patriarchal standards of womanhood, though I wear skirts and have long legs, I just don't do things correctly because I don't want to know or know what the correct things are.
I hate admitting these things about myself. I hate admitting I have big eyes and long legs, because that sounds attractive, but attractive for all the wrong reasons.
It should belong to someone else.

You know what I hate. When people say "real girl." There shouldn't be a real girl. Who the fuck is a real girl? This isn't passive aggressive, you know I feel this way.

I really should sleep.
Thurdays are always confusing.