Things that came up tonight:
1. Drinking makes me feel better only if I'm with people that make me feel good, thus if I'm sitting in a movie not talking, I probably don't feel good.
2. I really want everyone to be reliable. It makes me upset when they are not reliable, partially because I hate being upset with people. I think you think I cry because you think I want more than friendship with you, but I cry, because I'm scared I can't have even that.
3. I like spending time with people I don't normally spend time with.
4. I appreciate a lot of people a lot and mostly I get upset when I feel like I'm losing the people I need.
5. This list seems like a list of cheesy and sincere things I never want to admit about people, but I am admitting, because I am drunk and crying.
6. Feminism was dicussed a lot tonight and I hate that I'm scared to admit I'm a feminist, because I date men and love men and a lot of my friends are men. I meant to write more about this, but it got over-shadowed.
7. Let's have an honest party. I'm incredibly self-conscious. Just tell me what you think of me and be done with it, so I don't have to worry anymore. I'm an ugly fuck with awful opinions? Just fucking tell me. It's the worrying about being otherwise that is the problem. I want to be otherwise, but who knows if I am?
8. Geeze, I hate being this honest.