In order to conserve internet I am now typing into a word document and will paste it later.

When I was 14 I had a journal on an old laptop my dad got for free from work. I kept it double password protected and was terrified that someone would somehow find it as it contained all my deepest darkest secrets (largely things about boys). At the end of high school, when I hadn’t been writing in the journal for at least a few years I tried to turn the laptop on and I was sad when it didn’t work.

I always feel awful when I wake up. Thus I have decided I need to think of ways to avoid waking up or somehow make waking up really pleasant. Maybe I should start taping really happy poems by my bed. First thoughts when waking up “Ugh, my alarm is going off. Sleeping was so nice. Am I really still in Austria? If I were waking up in the US to go to the Art Academy, would I be happier? Yes. Why is it so cold? Where is the water leaking into my bathroom coming from? Do I really have to do this entire day? What am I going to do today? Nothing!” Shortly after these minor crises however, I realized I have several activities I want to do, like grocery shopping (possibly twice), buying shampoo, conditioner, and toilet paper, finish editing a story for a friend (anyone else want feedback? I am desperately missing workshops), finish writing a letter to Monica (I’m still not sure if she will reply, but I don’t know), write letters to Krista and Maya, finished reading the first Harry Potter, and start writing a short story. These things are only slightly comforting.

I want long, pretty hair. Instead my hair vaguely resembles a bird’s nest unless I straighten it.