At this moment I am calm and satisfied though this moment is not different from any other moment. It's like the realization that these things are inconsequential. Somedays I like the thought that at the end of September I will be gone and this will be gone along with it. Other days it makes me panic. Makes me wish I weren't going and could go somewhere else. But a lot of the things that are happening are happening because I am leaving. I have the appeal of someone who is going. I let things slide. It's like I am never coming back and if the notion of leaving is unimaginable, the notion of returning is even greater so.

Maybe when I come back, I will move to a different city.