A list.

1. I got pulled over today for the first time. I was going 31 MPH in a 30 zone and I was terrified of getting a speeding ticket. I was also crying, this was unrelated to being pulled over. The cop told me that one of my headlights was burnt out and to have a goodnight. He smiled a lot.

2. I called Glo because I was crying.

3. I was crying because I feel so terribly out of place and because I haven't had thoughts like that in a long time. My thoughts lately have been more like "I would like another beer," "That boy is cute," stuff like that. Instead of this thinking bullshit.

4. I kind of want to forget about people and hide in my room and read.

5. At the sametime I really want to be around people. I want a boy. I know I do. It's terrible.

6. I want to sit down with someone and tell them lots of things. I don't know who this someone is, rather I know lots of someones that it could be. I just want to have a really nice serious talk about my life right now and that's never how it works.

7. A week ago I wanted no serious talk.