Then I get back here again, this acceptance of who I am as a human being. I will always get upset when I lose a person I care about, even if it was irrational, even if it wasn't my fault (does it matter if it was?), even if it will make me feel better later. I will always care about things more than other people appear to and I will continue to cry a lot probably for several more days until I have a final fit where I settle into acceptance and then forgetting.

This is what he is doing: avoiding me because he feels bad. I don't know that he feels bad, but I know he is avoiding me and I can only assume it's because he knows he made me feel bad.

I warned him, I warn everyone, but no one really gets it until I start uttering those words I am worried because I care, which people take to mean so much more than it ever will. I worry about everything. I care about you and I care about that sandwich that I am going to eat at lunch and my dog and my cat and my skin and every single person I've known whether I like them or not. Sex makes it a different nature of caring, but I know this cycle. Know that no one wants to be together forever yet, especially not me, know that it will end and I will feel awful and then better and then will find someone new.

Who am I saying this too? I don't know anymore.

Michelle read one of my stories and said, "This sounds familiar" and I told her no, it was about a different person, in a different time. But it was familiar. It's the same story.

We don't understand each other anymore