Tonight is the first night I've cried in a really long time. Not counting Saturday when I got drunk and cried about my mother. Or not counting last Monday when my brother told me that my dad is seriously trying to get rid of my cat. Okay, so I've cried a lot. But the rest of the time I haven't cried. And I haven't cried about a lot of things that I probably need to cry about. The thing about being so anxious and I have trained myself to immediately try and do anything that will make my anxiety go away, which doesn't ever really solve problems, it just distracts me from them.

Like right now I am going to go watch tv and not think about anything. This will not get my German reading done. Nor will it deal with any of the obvious emotional problems that I'm having. But I don't really care at the moment.