The counselor I was seeing last spring kept telling me that I was angry and I kept telling her that I wasn't an angry person except with my mother. This isn't true. I get angry a lot. I get angry because I expect a lot out of people and when they don't meet my expectations it crushes me to the point that I get angry because I want them to be better, because I trust them to be better. I expect people to keep the commitments that they make. I expect people to be nice when I'm upset and in return I expect them to trust me enough to talk to me when they're upset. These expectations make me feel completely unreasonable. I shouldn't expect this, right? Simply change my expectations and then the problem is solved. But it kills me to change those expectations. If I change them, it means I don't have faith in you and if I'm friends with you, I want to have faith in you. I want to able to have high expectations out of the people I care about.

I have let some people down lately. Some people have let me down lately. All of these people are overlapping. I want to love everyone again.