I keep thinking about last year when I went to Monica's office and started crying because Teach for America didn't want me, Austria didn't want me (yet), and most importantly, my boyfriend dumped me, and in a month and a half I would no longer be able to use homework as an emotional crutch. She told me to go have fun. To go to parties. To enjoy myself. At this point I started crying more and talking about how I WAS drinking, I WAS going to parties, and if I wasn't happy drinking and going to parties, what WOULD I be happy doing?