I don't sleep well when I drink. The idea of a nightcap sounds terrible to me. I don't go to sleep, I don't stay asleep. I try to sleep at seven and then wake up three hours later feeling wide awake and hungover and bored. I am going to start writing and I am going to start posting it here at the risk of making thing unpublishable elsewhere, at the risk of people not reading my blog because no one read blogs because they like writing, but because they like to know what's going on in peoples lives, but I don't really know what it going on in mine. I've become a much more calm and relaxed person than I used to be, but I still cry when I get drunk sometimes. When that happens it's mostly because I'm angry. I still try to go off and do it by myself and I still do a terrible job of that. For some reason I feel okay about things despite uncertainties.