Fuck am I ever homesick.

In German they have the word for homesickness "Heimweh," but they also have a word for wanting to get away sickness "Fernweh." While I greatly appreciate the addition of this word, I think we need several more, like feeling sickness. There are ways I miss feeling. Tonight people from the poetry workshops got together to discuss Matthew Dickman and reading him always arises such of feeling of crush within me and it's nice and awful because he's so terribly not real. As a result the feeling deflates rather quickly and I go back to my as of late normal state of being within myself and not desiring to be with anyone else. But I desire to desire to be with someone else. I will continue to desire this until I actually do and remember how much the longing sucks and then I will desire my current state of being okay with being alone.