Your body says you have lost and you listen

I swam underwater for two months
This was only identified later,
after I spoke of the constant noise,
like a buzzing, but no bee could survive
in the ocean and the pressure I felt
on my limbs when I tried to move them
as if they have been stuck sandman full.
I emerged to find my toes like raisens,
my fingers like prunes, going forward
slowly and underneath the waves.

Later, I didn't remember what it was
that I had lost. I considered my time
spent at sea. A beach ball perhaps.
That bucket I liked to make towers with.
And I had cried over those things?
Something gone that no longer has substance.