Reading "Although of course you end up becoming yourself: a roadtrip with David Foster Wallace." It's heartbreaking, knowing that everyone is just as in love with him as I am. Reading about writers is horrible. Everything feels too close. I couldn't sleep last night because I felt like I had pushed everyone I loved away and then realized that I am just in Austria and all of these people still exist somewhere across the sea. Reading bad teen novels makes me need comfort, someone to spoon with. I no longer see myself as a person that other people might love, because I never see people. I don't think anyone is interested in my loneliness, but I talk about it anyway. When I picture America I think of being very warm and watching television for a long time.