Looking at MFA programs. I have slowly been building up my tolerance against the waves of nausea that fill me every time I try to do research. Whenever I tell people that they seem slightly baffled as to why I am applying. I don't feel sick because I don't want to do it, I feel sick because I want it so bad. It's like how you felt sick before telling your crush that you liked them in Jr. High and then the crushed awful feeling afterwards is how I will feel if I don't get accepted. I am going to try not to get too attached to any one program and focus on general feels I want from programs and apply to a good number of them. Funding is important though. Funding is really important.