I feel particularly awful thing morning. I repeat my usual mantras, this is only a phase, things will get better, etc., but it's not true. Things will get better for awhile, because I am in Austria and enjoying it, but then I will go home and things will feel terrible all over again. My mother, for the past couple of years, has been talking about how she is cursed. I don't have the heart to tell her that she has been consistently ruining things for me since she fell into her slump eight or so years ago. There are just so many good things in my life right now and I don't want any  of them to get messed up because of this.